James' Secret
by bigtimerushfics
Summary: What will happen when James' most deadly secret blows up in his face?
1. The Start Of Something

"Oh my god James," Carlos screamed, "you won again!"

James was surprisingly good at the video game they were playing.

"Yeah, I know." James flashed a smug at Carlos.

They were alone in the apartment tonight. Kendall and Logan were out, spending a date night at the movies. Katie and her mom went on a road trip for the weekend.

James had the place to himself, with his dearest boyfriend, Carlos.

"I don't know how you do it." Carlos said, as he kept his eyes glued to the screen. His hands were attached to his controller.

James' smile faded, and put his controller down. Carlos paused the game and looked at James.

"What's wrong?" Carlos had brought out his puppy eyes.

"It's just… well…" James looked at the carpet, as his cheeks burnt red. "We've been together for months now, almost a year, and… We haven't done anything special yet."

Carlos knew what he meant.

"James, honey, I'm only waiting for the right time. The perfect time." Carlos smiled as he put his hand on James' face, to bring it up.

James let Carlos' hand control his head, as he looked into Carlos' big, brown eyes.

"But what if that special time never comes? What if something happens and we break up? What if—"

James' voice got cut off by Carlos' lips suddenly on his.

The kiss was long and meaningful. James never wanted it to end. He wanted to kiss Carlos forever.

They separated and stared into each others shiny eyes.

"Nothing will happen. I won't let anything happen." Carlos said, in a very soft voice.

James blushed even harder now.

"Not even if I have to move away?" James asked.

"Ever heard of long-distance relationships?" Carlos laughed a little under his breath.

"Carlos?" James looked at the computer screen again, but he wasn't paying attention to the writing on the screen, he was just too shy to look at Carlos as he spoke.

"Yes dear?" Carlos looked to the big computer screen, to see what James was staring at. When Carlos noticed James' rosy cheeks starting to burn, he looked back at him.

"You promise?" James took a quick peek at Carlos' face.

"James, I love you." That brought James' eyes back on Carlos. "And I promise. Forever"

Carlos leaned in to give James another long, romantic kiss.


	2. Will Carlos ever know?

_Ring, Ring, Ring!_

James slowly got out of bed to answer his phone. He didn't want to wake up Carlos, who was sharing the bed with him.

"Hello?" James' voice was rough. He glanced at the alarm clock. It read 2:24 am.

Carlos' head cocked up from under the sheets. He heard James waking up, but didn't want to bother him while he was on the phone, so he pretended to sleep while listening to James'

conversation.

"Yeah, I know." Carlos couldn't hear the voice at the other end of the call.

"Look, it's not that big of a deal." James paced from side to side.

"I'm sure he'll be fine by tomorrow." Carlos was starting to get worried.

"No. I'm not coming." James' voice was mad now.

"Should you take him to the hospital?" James' hand patted the back of his head.

"Well, you've got to do something!" He was almost yelling.

"But—" James took the phone off his ear and stared at it. Carlos could hear the beeping from the other end.

Carlos quickly got back under the sheets, as James hung up and walked over to the bed.

"Hey dude, are you awake?" James' voice changed so much from the last time he spoke; Carlos thought he might start crying.

Carlos decided to stop pretending.

"No, I'm awake. Are you okay?" Carlos put his hand on James' waist.

"You… You heard that, didn't you?" James slipped Carlos' hand off.

"Um…" Carlos was feeling kind of awkward. What was up with James? "Yeah, I did. Who was that?"

"Just a friend." James pulled the covers over his whole body, even his head.

"Anything you may want to tell me? You know, to get off your chest?" Carlos tried to put his hand on James' forehead, but James moved away.

"Nothing you should be worried about. Go back to bed. It's late, and we have a big day tomorrow in the studio." They both felt awkward now.

"Yeah, well… um… Alright then. Just remember, James, I'm always here for you." Carlos lightly kissed the back of his boyfriend's head.

Without an answer, Carlos fell back asleep. Barely.

What was wrong with James? Why didn't he want to talk about the phone call? Was it something he was hiding from Carlos? Would Carlos ever know?

**What was James' secret?**


	3. The Unexpected Guest

"We're going to head out for a while." Kendall said. Logan and Kendall shared a smile before they ran out the door.

James walked to the door, closed it, and dragged his feet back to the couch. He was really down these past days. Carlos thought it had something to do with the mysterious phone call he heard a couple nights ago.

"Hey buddy?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah?" James cocked his head up to face Carlos.

"We trust each other, right? So we can tell each other… anything?" Carlos mumbled.

"Of course, Carlos. What's wrong?" James put a hand on Carlos' shoulder.

"I'm just worried. About you." Carlos paused in between words. "I heard that phone call you had 2 nights ago, and I just want to know if everything is okay."

"Everything is fine. It's just—" James' words got cut off by the door slamming open.

Carlos and James both jumped in shock. Their expressions quickly changed into confusion.

In the doorway, there stood a woman. She was tall and pretty. Her clothes had to be the most expensive and fashionable ones in style. Her makeup was applied with precision, and you could easily tell. She looked like she was 30 years old.

James' eyes suddenly grew wider as he recognized the face by the door.

"MOM! WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU DOI-DOING HERE?" He held Carlos close by his side.

Carlos would have thought that James' mom was tough, but she stood there, with a sad smile. She seemed defenseless.

"It's your dad. He's gone again." She strutted to James. But he backed away a little as soon as she got closer.

Carlos watched in amazement at the scene that was revealing in front of him.

"He's gone too far this time. Please James, I need your help. _He_ needs your help." She pleaded to him, and they could see tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Forget about dad. It's his fault." James looked away. His eyes got watery as well.

"James. Sit down, honey." His mom sat down on the couch behind them. James and Carlos followed.

Carlos noticed that James did not sit near his mom. He looked very uncomfortable with her.

"Mom, this is Carlos, my boyfriend. Carlos, this is my mom…" He almost felt embarrassed to call her his own mother.

"Hello, Mrs. Diamond. It's, uh, nice to finally, uh, meet you." Carlos tried to seem cheery, but the mood was so low, he didn't know what to say.

"James? Do you mind me asking why your mother is here, and what's going on?" Carlos whispered in James' ear, but loud enough so that Mrs. Diamond could hear.

"Carlos, you really don't need to get mixed in with this." His voice was firm.

"Dear, if Carlos is your boyfriend, then Carlos deserves to know." She put a hand on James' knee, but he quickly shook it off.

James mumbled something under his breath, that neither Carlos nor Mrs. Diamond understood.

"Let me try to make this simple for you," James started. "My dad has been taking drugs for years now. Ever since I was in grade 7, actually. He has only been getting worse. That phone call you heard? That was with her," He faintly pointed to his mom, took a deep breath, and continued. "He's gone too far this time. But there's nothing we can do."

Carlos secretly took James' hand into his, trying to comfort him in a best way possible. Of course, it wasn't the best way to help James, but Carlos had never seen James, or anyone like this before and frankly, he didn't know how to handle these situations properly.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?" Carlos asked.

"No. Please Carlos, don't get involved in this. I shouldn't even be talking to you about it. You shouldn't even be here." James let go of Carlos' hand.

He was a little hurt by that, but he understood why James would have felt that way.

Carlos looked at Mrs. Diamond as he asked, "Well, what are you guys going to do?"

"Actually, that's why I came here." She looked at Carlos, then back at James. "I think it would be better if James came home."

James' head lifted so fast, you could have heard the huge crack. Carlos did the same.

"WHAT? MOM, NO. I CAN'T GO BACK THERE. I CAN'T. PLEASE. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. I JUST-"

"James Diamond. You are coming back to Minnesota."


	4. Nowhere To Be Found

"James! You can't leave! What are we going to do about the band? What are we going to do about our friendship?" Logan, Kendall and Carlos were all yelling at James, as he packed his bags.

James didn't answer them. They were going on about this all day long, and James was getting annoyed.

Of course James didn't want to leave, but his mom wasn't going to back down anytime soon. He wasn't doing this for his dad though; he was doing it to support his mom, and only her. James thought every second of the day about how much he would miss all his buds. He would miss them so much, especially Carlos. His best friend; His boyfriend; His everything.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt Carlos tugging on the sweater James was holding in his hands. Carlos got hold of the sweater and threw it across the room, so that James couldn't put it in his suitcase.

Carlos started to pick up the other clothes, already in the suitcase, and threw them on the floor along with the sweater.

He had fear in his eyes, mixed with water. To Carlos, this was all a dream and James was never leaving. James firmly gripped Carlos' wrists and shook him until he was facing James.

James could feel and hear the loud thumping of his boyfriend's heart beating in his chest.

"Carlos! Calm down! Breathe!" Once Carlos started to breathe normally again, James let go. "And stop throwing my clothes on the floor." James added, as he bent over to pick up the mess on the bedroom floor.

"We just don't want you to go." James turned around to look at Logan, who was tearing up as well.

"Well I'm leaving. Deal with it. It's happening. So stop being babies, and accept the fact that you'll never see me again." James took his suitcase, already closed, and stormed out of the room without looking back.

Kendall and Logan heard the silent whimpers Carlos was making from the other side of the room.

Carlos collapsed onto the bed. Logan and Kendall slowly walked out the door and went into their own room.

It was already night time, and Carlos knew that James' flight was tomorrow night at 10:30pm.

Carlos slipped under the covers and fell fast asleep. For the rest of the night, he did not hear James climb into the bed.

The next morning, Carlos woke up first, for once. He noticed that James was not in the apartment, and was worried. So he got dressed and headed out the door.

First, Carlos checked the pool, and James wasn't there. He then looked in the lobby and Rocque Records.

But James was nowhere to be found.

Carlos ran into Mrs. Diamond on the way back to 2J.

"Oh well, hello Carlos. What are you doing up so early? It's 5am." She checked her watch to make sure she had the right time, and then glanced at Carlos' sagging head.

"Mrs. Diamond?" Carlos whispered, ignoring her question. "Do you know where James is?"

"Um… No, I don't actually. I was coming upstairs to check on him. He's not in the apartment?" Her facial expression had not changed much.

"No, this morning he wasn't. I searched everywhere, and I couldn't find him." Carlos still didn't look at her.

"I'm sure he'll show up." She smiled at him and walked out of the elevator as the door opened.

_Where could he be? Did he run away? Is he in the airport? No, James wouldn't do that… Would he?_

Frankly, Carlos didn't know what to believe anymore. He just wanted James. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hold onto him and never let go.

But in a couple hours, James would be gone. Forever. And there was no going back. Ever.

Carlos was lying in bed as the phone rang. He ran to pick it up, hoping it was James. No one had seen James all day.

"Hello?" He sounded out of breath.

"Carlos! Oh good, it's you!" A voice Carlos knew, answered.

"JAMES! WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHY DID YOU LEAVE? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK? PLEASE COME BACK! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! PLEASE COME HOME! PLEASE, JAMES! JUST COME HOME! ONE MORE TIME! YOU CAN LEAVE FOREVER, BUT I JUST NEED TO SEE YOU ONE MORE TIME! AT LEAST ONCE! PLEASE JAMES, I BEG YOU!" Carlos was kneeing on the carpet floor of the bedroom as tears ran down his face.

"I'm… I'm sorry… Carlos… I don't… I don't know how to tell you this…" James' voice cracked as he spoke. You could hear the pain in every word.

"What… what is it?" Carlos stopped sobbing for a minute, to hear what James had to say.

"I'm… I'm…" James couldn't spit it out.

"What's wrong? What do you have to say?" Carlos blew his nose really softly as he waited. His ear glued to the phone.

"I'm in Minnesota."

The line went dead.


	5. Well That Didn't Work

Carlos paced around the room as Logan and Kendall stared at the computer screen.

"And… Done!" Logan said. Kendall and Logan looked up at Carlos who was biting his nails.

Carlos stopped walking. "Are you sure this is going to work?" He questioned.

"Yes, everything will go as planned! Believe me; I've put a lot of thought into this." Kendall walked to Carlos and put a hand on his shoulder.

"And when are we going?" Carlos stopped biting his nails to look at the computer.

"The flight is at 6pm today. Is that okay?" Logan replied.

"That's," Carlos took a deep breath. "That's perfect. I think I'm ready."

"So what exactly is the plan?" Kendall asked Logan. Logan was obviously leading this mission.

"We go back to Minnesota and find his dad." Logan and Kendall nodded at each other.

"And then we try to help him in some way possible." Logan continued.

"Yeah, but his condition is really, really bad. How are you sure that we can actually help him?" Carlos asked about James' dad a lot, and surprisingly, James answered all of his questions.

"Carlos, did you forget that I'm a doctor?" Logan broke into a half smile.

"And a genius!" Kendall added with a smirk.

"What about James and his mom?" Carlos knew this wasn't going to work anyway.

"James will never have to know about our help towards his dad." Kendall said. "We'll convince his mom to let him come back."

"That will be hard…" Carlos trailed off. He looked so nervous.

"Carlos! Calm down, everything is going to work out perfectly! Don't worry." Kendall rubbed his upper-back.

"I hope you're right."

"Are you both ready?" Carlos screamed from the door of the apartment.

"Yeah yeah, we're ready." Kendall came running out of the room, tripping over his suitcase.

"Do you really need that much stuff?" Carlos asked as he pointed at Kendall's huge suitcase.

"You never know how much time it will take." Kendall said as he stuffed some clothes that were sticking out, into his suitcase.

"LOGAN! We're going to be late! Hurry up!" Carlos yelled.

Logan came running out of the room. He stepped on some shirts that weren't packed yet and fell to the ground.

Kendall groaned and walked to Logan.

"You okay, buddy?" He asked as he held a hand out to help Logan up.

"I think I'm fine." He got up and threw the clothes into his suitcase.

"Guys, we really have to leave!" Carlos glared at them.

"Why are you so nervous?" Logan asked as he straightened his shirt.

"Because." Carlos didn't want to sound like a baby.

Kendall softly laughed. "Just come on." He walked out the door.

Logan followed, tumbling on his way out.

Carlos took one last glance into the apartment, took a deep breath, and closed the door as he walked out.

He read the "2J" sign on the door.

_Would it be the last time I come here without the chance of seeing James ever again?_

Even though Carlos could not hide his thoughts about James, he didn't let it get to him just yet. He had a mission to run, and it had to work. It was the last chance he had.

The roaring of the airplane woke Carlos up.

"Good morning passengers! We are now in Minnesota!" The speakers above Carlos and the other two boys, informed.

Carlos shook Kendall and Logan who were still sleeping. In a couple of shakes, they were awake.

"What time is it?" Logan asked as he stretched.

"5 am." Carlos checked his watch.

"Are we here?" Kendall's voice was tired and scratchy.

"Yeah, we just got here. Are you guys ready for today?" Carlos whispered, to make sure he didn't awake other sleeping passengers.

"Of course. What are we doing first?" Kendall looked at Logan, because he was the only one who knew.

"We'll find Mr. Diamond and see how bad things really are. Then we'll figure out a way to that could help him." Logan replied. He didn't even have to think about what he was saying; he already knew all of it.

"Sounds good." Carlos calmly said, even though there was a pinch of nervousness in his voice.

As they exited the airplane, they walked to Mr. Diamond's house. They all knew where he lived, because as kids, they would go to his mansion almost everyday.

Kendall was the one to ring the door bell.

They waited for a couple of seconds in pure awkwardness.

When a man finally opened the door, the boys flinched at the sight.

He was old. A lot older than they remembered. He had a dirty beard on his chin, his eyes were red and tired. He wore old, baggy, dirty clothes that looked like they came from the trash.

This was obviously worse than they thought.

_No wonder James didn't want to help him, I would be ashamed of him too. _Carlos thought.

"Um… Mr. Diamond?" Kendall asked as he secretly peeked inside the house.

"That's me. Who are you kids? Do I know you? I don't think I know you." His voice was rough and deep.

"You don't really know us that well, but we've met before. We know you're family…" Kendall tried to sound polite without mentioning James. James and his dad never got along that well.

"Are you the sons of Courtney?" His eyes widened… kind of. "Oh no! You can do a DNA test, but I swear, I am not your father!"

Kendall gave him a disgusting stare and then looked back at his two friends, who were all looking at Mr. Diamond in the same way.

"Um… No. We're not Courtney's kids-" Kendall got cut off by a beer bottle that was thrown to his feet by James' father.

"Well then who are you kids?" He asked, as he opened another beer can.

"We're friends of James Diamond. Your son." Logan said, instead of Kendall.

Mr. Diamond took a step back. "What do you boys want?"

"We just want to help you. To help James and Mrs. Diamond." Carlos whimpered.

"That won't be necessary." He said through his teeth.

"We just think it would be better for everyone if we could bring you to a councilor or something." Logan said; no giving up.

"I am who I am, and I've chosen to be this. I don't need help from 12 year olds." He slammed the door in their faces.

"Did he just call us 12 year olds?" Kendall was confused and mad at the same time.

"Well, that didn't work." Logan said, ignoring Kendall's question.

"I told you guys he wouldn't change." Carlos walked off the lawn.

"That doesn't mean that we can't get James back." Logan said as he followed Carlos; Kendall close behind.

"So now what?" Carlos sat down on the sidewalk and dug his face into his hands.

"We go to Mrs. Diamond." Kendall answered.

"What about Mr. Drunk?" Carlos asked.

"He's not going to nudge. We should just forget about him. No wonder James didn't want to help him. Neither would I. He's mean, arrogant, pushy, and gross. He deservers whatever he put on himself." Kendall really spoke his mind out, but he was right.

"To Mrs. Diamond we go!" Logan walked the opposite side.

The two others followed.


	6. Their Last Mission

_Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong!_

Kendall was very impatient as he rang the door bell multiple times.

Finally, a well-known face appeared at the door, wearing yet again, the best fashion.

"Oh… boys! I didn't think I'd see you guys here." Her face was still.

"Hello, Mrs. Diamond. We're here to talk to you about something." Logan's voice was soft and precious.

"Anything you want." She replied with a smile.

"May we enter?" Kendall asked. He didn't mean to sound rude, but it came out that way.

"Of course! Come, come, come in." She moved to the side so that the four big boys could come in.

As they walked in and looked around, the memories came pouring in. They used to play hockey in this house, normally breaking most things. Mrs. Diamond never seemed to mind, so the boys took that at their advantage. Carlos had tried many stunts in here, and they saw a couple chips and scratches that were still indented in the walls and furniture.

They all flashed back to reality as Mrs. Diamond gestured them to sit down on the nearest couch.

When everyone was seated, she asked, "So what did you want to talk about, loves?"

"Well, we're here to talk to you about James. We've been worried about. I know it's been a couple days, but we already miss him so much and we couldn't go on without him. He's part of the band, the friendship, the family." Carlos babbled on with watery eyes.

She looked at them, confused, without saying a word.

There was an awkward silence, as glances were thrown around the room.

"Umm…" Logan whispered, hoping to break the silence.

"Boys, I don't think you got the message." She finally said, without expression.

"What-What message?" Carlos squinted and pulled himself closer, leaning off of the couch.

"James isn't here. He left." She answered.

"Left? But, where did he go?" Kendall asked.

"He visited his father, and saw that there was no hope, and since he missed you all dearly, he took the first flight back to LA. James went home." She felt a little bad for calling LA 'home' but to the 4 boys, it was.

Carlos stood up. When he noticed that no one else had reacted this way, he sat back down.

"He actually did that? For us?" Logan's eyes were shining in the light.

She laughed a little. "Of course!"

"Well now what do we do-" Logan was interrupted by a stranger noise coming from the back pocket of his jeans. He bent over to reach his cell phone, and lifted it to his ear.

"Hello?" He said with enthusiasm.

"What? Oka- Alrigh- CALM DOWN! Got it- When? But that's- Talk slower! I can't underst- Who? Oh my go-"

He looked at his phone, which read 'Call disconnected'.

"Who was _that_?" Kendall asked.

"James." Logan slowly looked up to 3 other faces staring at him. He turned to face Kendall.

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Diamond tried to get his attention back to her.

He didn't turn around. "I couldn't hear anything, but he said something about his dad. I think he said that his dad is threatening him." Logan's face was expressionless.

"Why?" Carlos asked to himself, but it was loud enough so that everyone could hear.

"I'm not sure. Maybe because we visited him. Maybe he thought that James sent us. I don't know." Logan answered.

"Well what does he want?" Mrs. Diamond also, asked.

Logan felt overwhelmed from all these questions that he didn't know. "I DON'T KNOW." He yelled out in frustration. He put his hands on his ears. Kendall quietly laughed, because he found Logan cute.

"You do know what that means, right?" Mrs. Diamond cocked her head and they spotted a slow grin on her face.

They exchanged some glances.

"We're teaming up." Her grin got much bigger, spreading quickly across her face. "We have one more mission to accomplish."


End file.
